As a culture, we are not taught or equipped to handle such a horrific loss. This foundation is here to help. As a parent, we are lost and can’t function. Siblings are lost, as well. Often, as in our case, my younger son experienced the loss of a big brother, a father figure, a best friend… all in one person. The loss leaves a huge void for everyone: parents, siblings, grandparents, other family members, and friends. With the loss of a child, the family is truly no longer complete. It is important that others understand that we will grieve for the rest of our lives and never completely heal. Our hearts are broken forever with an emptiness that will never go away. This does not mean we cannot enjoy life, laugh, or smile. It simply means things have changed for us. Often, we are looked upon differently and are judged. We now belong to a club that we truly never wanted to be part of.

Jeffrey’s passing left a huge void that will never go away. We can’t possibly be expected to go back to “life as usual” after a month, year, or even a decade. Yet, it is not natural, nor healthy, to pretend life can magically bounce back to “normal.” There is no expiration date on grieving. This doesn’t mean we can’t smile and enjoy life. It simply means that things are now different. Personally, I have lost those moments of uninhabited euphoria. Sure, I experience fun, laughter, and happiness… just less completely.

Together, we can educate and overcome our culture’s preconceived stigmas around loss, while sharing the stories of our children. Our children will be in our hearts forever. We need to keep talking. Some other cultures accept the grieving process and are accepted for their grief.

Thank you for being here to support my journey. The Jeffrey R. Hart Foundation is here to help support yours.

Deana Hart,

Founder